I'm not who I used to be.
I don't create the way I used to create.
This past month and a half I've taken some time away from social media, and away from compositing, to ground myself in my everyday life, focus on my writing, and to reflect on my creative journey, process, and where I'd like to take it next.
We all need times of rest. Sometimes that rest is intentional, sometimes it isn't.
But, as I've taken a step back from the noise, and to some degree my personal default form of creativity, I've had some realizations.
- Social media both stifles and fuels me.
- Filling my mind with other people's creations has drowned out the worlds inside my mind. I used to have such a rich inner life, but all the static and white noise of social media had really drowned it out.
- I hate politics. I don't want it to touch my art. We all have our personal struggles and emotions, that matters. We all need a safe place of unity and connection, to find the whimsy and the joy. That's what I want my art to be about.
- So much of my life has been dominated by fear. I don't want to live constrained to fear anymore. I don't want my anxiety to overshadow everything my life or my art has the potential to be.
- Routines are essential.
- Having the basics taken care of in everyday life is important to cultivate a freely creative environment.
- I need to find concepts that really resonate with me.
- I need to slow down my process, and be more intentional, taking my time to build concepts and images rather than just rushing through them because I'm inspired in the moment. I need to sit with things longer in order to allow them to grow.
- I need to create more in-camera. Cutouts are getting exhausting, and I feel like I've lost some of the things I loved most about creating conceptual work by relying so heavily on Photoshop.
- I need to actually start working on my series.
- Intentional inspiration matters. More than I'd been allowing it to.
- I haven't been nearly as intentional as I'd like to think I am.
- It's important to try new things that break us out of our comfortable boxes of creation.
Yesterday, I completed my first composite piece since the end of February. It felt good to create again.
So much of my life feels scattered and uncertain right now. Creativity, regardless of form, is grounding. And I'm slowly, yet surely, gaining more creative clarity.